what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
