I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
