You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
