What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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