You can't special order awesome
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
