Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
