Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
