yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
