found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Randomize
