My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
