They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So many bounce houses so little time
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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