I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
