Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
