Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
