Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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