Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
