That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
