Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
