If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
