STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
