Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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