Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
