I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
