She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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