i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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