apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
