I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
