Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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