Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am naked and annoyed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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