It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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