He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
