In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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