It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's never too late to be topless.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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