Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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