break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
