I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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