Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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