Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
