Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
