um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
