I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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