did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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