My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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