You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My liver just had a heart attack.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
