it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
