Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
