Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
