Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
