Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
