he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
