while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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