I forgot how hot balto sounded
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So. Much. Porn.
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