If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the day after is always just damage control
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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