drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Success! We fucked roommates!
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