she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
