Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
