you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
