those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
